Yashiro-kun's Guide to Going Solo - V1 Ch1 Part1
Chapter One: How to Spend Time Solo (Weekday Edition)
“Characteristics of Girls with Flowery Names”
“Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.”
I have no idea who said that, but I think it’s true. We were sixteen-year-old high school girls, flowers in full bloom. But time is limited, and flowers can’t stay in bloom forever. No matter how we choose to spend this time, it’ll all be over in a few years.
Like how I was sitting here now, watching a TV drama I wasn’t even interested in just so I could talk about it with my friends later. Why was I wasting such valuable time doing things I didn’t even care about? What did I care about? The kids who devote all their time to after-school clubs seem to have it rough, but at least it looked like their days were fulfilling. Even if they were just benchwarmers, one day they’ll look back on these days and feel nostalgic for all the setbacks and frustrations that made them into the people they had become.
That’s what I think, anyway. But how would I feel in the future, looking back on me today? Of course there were other people besides me who seemed to be wasting time, like the ones playing card games in the corner of the classroom during breaks, or getting so absorbed in reading their books they couldn’t hear anything going on around them. But they spent that time doing the things they
enjoyed, unlike me. How could I be more like them?
◊◊◊
There are three types of people you see when you walk into the classroom first thing in the morning. First are the groups of four or more chatting loudly with each other.
Next are the ones in groups of two or three talking quietly in hushed voices. And then there are the ones who are already off in their own little world, completely oblivious to everything around them. You might feel sorry for that last group, but you shouldn’t. Because that big, loud group talking over each other? They’re exhausted from having tense smiles plastered to their faces the whole time.
“You’re so silly, Chi-chan!♪”
Even though I was on the outside looking in, I could tell that the girl who stood out most from the group, with the brightly colored hair, was frazzled. She was smiling, but it just seemed forced.
“Hey, did you guys watch that drama last night? Sho-kun is so hot, isn’t he?”
She kept bringing up the same old thing they talked about every day. Even though she’d dyed her hair, she still looked like an idol because of her baby face.
Her style was always on point and she had a cheerful personality. On the surface it seemed like her life was perfect, so why did she look so drained? I never understood what went on in the minds of the cool kids.
Meanwhile…
I looked at the girl sitting in the last row next to the window, right behind me. Her eyes were glued to her paperback with a superdeformed tiger on the cover, and she was wearing noise-canceling earphones as if to say, “I’m not interested in you, so just leave me alone.” It was obvious she was totally immersed in her own world. If I had to describe it, I’d say she had a really strong sense of self.
Well, might as well read my own book. I sat down and took out my hardcover book from my backpack. This author had written several mystery-thriller novels based on historical works of art. A few of them had even been made into movies, so they were generally regarded as being pretty good. Their latest work had just been released in a two-set hardcover version, so I’d brought it to school. It was kind of a pain to lug the heavy books around, but they were fun to read and a great way to entertain myself during the boring breaks. And the plot was so involved, it did a better job lulling me to sleep on a peaceful day than sleeping pills.
I’m not gonna fall asleep already, though… It’s only homeroom period.
“Hey.” I heard a voice from in front of me. It sounded like they were trying to get somebody’s attention…
“Hey. Hey, you! I’m talking to you.”
Shut up. Whoever she’s calling for, just answer already.
“Hey! Stop ignoring me!”
My book was suddenly yanked out of my hands. I looked up and saw the girl with the dyed hair who had been talking at the front of the classroom. She now stood in front of me pouting, my book in her hands.
“Uh, can you give that back?”
“Ah, sorry! I mean, wait!” She slammed her hand down on the desk.
“I’ve been trying to talk to you but you keep ignoring me! Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?!”
“Oh,” I said. “I thought you were talking to someone
else.”
“And you didn’t even look up to see who was talking?!”
“I might’ve noticed if you’d said my name,” I said.
“W-well…”
Her voice trailed off as her eyes darted around nervously.
“I couldn’t remember your name.”
Ohh, so that’s why she just said “hey” over and over.
“It’s Yashiro. And you are?”
“You’re Yashiro-kun, got it. Do you have a hard time remembering names too?”
“Yep.”
“I know I’m not one to talk, but that’s pretty bad!”
It wasn’t like I could help it. I never really paid attention to anyone else, so I was bad at matching names with faces. I could count the number of classmates whose first and last names I knew on one hand.
“I’m Kanon Hanamizawa. K-A-N-O-N!”
The girl with dyed hair spelled out her name for me. Jeez, even her name is
dramatic.
“Okay. What do you want, Hanamizawa-san?”
Even though she’d emphasized her first name, I just couldn’t
bring myself to call her by that.
“Oh, right. Can you give me some advice?”
“You want advice from someone whose name you couldn’t even remember?”
“I’m sorry about that already! Besides, you didn’t remember mine either!”
“Yeah, because I have absolutely no interest in you.”
“Hey, that’s not very nice! Couldn’t you say it more nicely, like you just had no reason to talk to me?! I’m gonna cry!”
“But why do you wanna ask me for advice?”
“Why? Because you’re always alone,”
Hanamizawa-san said, fidgeting awkwardly.
“The girl behind me’s always alone too. Wouldn’t it be better to ask her, since you’re both girls?”
“I already tried that, but she completely ignored me!”
“Oh…”
Well, she was wearing noise-canceling earphones. They must have also canceled the noise that was Hanamizawasan’s voice.
“So what’s your question? Is it something you can ask me here?”
I asked.
She hesitated.
“Well… I’d prefer to ask you in private. Does lunch work for you?”
“I have to work in the library.”
“Then do you have time after school?”
“I guess so…”
“Thanks! See you then.”
And with that, Hanamizawa-san went back to her own seat right as the bell rang. A few moments later, the homeroom teacher came in. I turned around and tapped my fingers on the desk behind me. I heard the girl’s book slam shut.
◊◊◊
I watched videos on my phone while I ate lunch, and even after I was finished eating I sat there zoning out to more videos for a while. Suddenly, I felt someone stirring behind me.
Oh, it’s time. I packed up my lunch box and headed towards the teachers’ lounge.
“Hello.”
I bowed as I entered the room and grabbed the keys to the library that were hanging next to the door.
“Thanks.”
I left the room as quickly as I came and walked towards the library, which was on the same floor down the other hallway. I used the keys to open the door, then tossed them to the person waiting in front of the door.
“Here.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched them unlock the resource room next to the library, then headed straight to the circulation desk. I sat down and turned on the library computer. I heard a window open, then felt the cool autumn breeze blow in. Mm, that feels good.
I’d bought some café au lait and unsweetened black tea from the vending machine on the way to the teachers’ lounge. I set those down on the counter along with the book I was reading this morning. Just as I was about to open it up, someone set three books down in front of me. Only three returns today. Well, not many people use the library.
Nowadays, people could use their phones to read whatever they wanted, plus there were tons of funny videos online to watch if you needed to kill some time. I wonder if there’s even a point in having school libraries anymore, I thought as I finished checking the books in.
I watched the books being ushered away to be reshelved, then opened my own book. I slurped my café au lait through a straw as I flipped through the pages. I heard a chair next to me creak.
My lunch break was the same today as it was every day. And I stayed there until the bell rang again, just like I did every day.
◊◊◊
Hanamizawa-san came straight over to my desk as soon as last period ended.
“Remember our conversation this morning?” she asked.
“About how you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yeah. Well, should we—” Suddenly she stopped short.
“Wh-What’s the matter?”
“Oh! Um, nothing…”
What was her problem? Did she see something that startled her? I was about to turn around, but she suddenly slammed her hand down on my desk and leaned forward.
“Anyway! Will you come with me or not?”
“Uh, sure.”
“Let’s go somewhere else, then! Okay?”
“F-Fine.” I hastily nodded, intimidated by her threatening attitude. I packed up my stuff and followed her out of the classroom. We walked for a bit as she led me to a spot behind the school building. It was just the two of us there. If someone else happened to see this, they might think I lured Hanamizawa-san here for a shakedown or something.
“Now that I think about it, meeting behind the school like this makes it seem like a shakedown or something.”
Apparently she was thinking the same thing.
“Uh-oh. Does it look like I’m gonna bully you?”
Well, I guess she wasn’t thinking the exact same thing.
“Huh? I’m the one who’s getting bullied?”
“I mean, I’m the popular girl and you’re like the beta male. As if you’d ever try to bully me.”
I stared at her silently. The look on her face said, “Why are you even asking me this question?”
I kinda feel like
crying now…
“So? What’d you wanna ask?”
“Why do you look like you’re gonna cry? Oh, right. The question!” She clapped her hands together and then stared
at me.
“You’re, like…always alone, right?”
“So now you’re just insulting me? You’re starting to annoy me.”
“Ah, sorry! No! I didn’t mean it like that!” She frantically shook her head.
“That’s not it. What I meant to ask is… Can you teach me, Yashiro-kun?”
“Teach you?” I repeated.
She nodded and said with determination, “I want you to teach me how to be alone!”
◊◊◊
“Because, like… I have lots of friends, you know?”
“Now it just sounds like you’re bragging.” Not that I was jealous or anything. I couldn’t imagine myself smiling in a group full of extroverts.
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” she said with a selfdeprecating smile.
“It’s hard to feel like you belong in a big group, you know? I have to watch stupid dramas I don’t even care about just because some popular actor’s in it, and I have to constantly buy new clothes to keep up with the latest trends. It’s expensive!”
“Uh-huh.”
I would tell her to just not keep up with trends, but I guess then she wouldn’t be one of the popular kids. She let out a sigh.
“Sometimes I wanna be alone too, you know? But every time I try to be alone, I just don’t know what to do with myself! So I was hoping you’d teach me how to get used to being on my own, since you’re so good at it.”
Was she sure she wasn’t trying to bully me?
“Just do whatever you want when you’re alone. It’s not like you’re bothering anybody.”
“I know, but what do you do when you have an hour or two to yourself?”
“Wander around the bookstore, or study at the library or a study room.”
“What’s fun about that, though?”
Okay, now she was just being rude. When you don’t have many friends, sometimes studying’s the only thing you’ve got.
“Sometimes I go sing karaoke by myself.”
“Oooh, I wanna do that! Teach me!” She was suddenly very interested.
“What do you mean, teach you? Can’t you figure that out yourself? You literally just go to a karaoke place by yourself.”
“Huh? But karaoke’s something you do with a group of friends.” She blinked at me in confusion.
Seriously? We really lived in two different worlds.
“There are lots of karaoke places that have private booths for just one person. It’s totally normal. It’s definitely not as tough as going to get ramen with extra garlic by yourself.”
“Maybe, but going to karaoke by yourself makes it seem like you don’t have any friends…”
“That’s a really outdated way of thinking.”
Why were popular kids so afraid of being alone?
“The people who work there will just think you really like singing, that’s all. Plus, since you don’t get a group discount, sometimes you end up paying more by yourself. They aren’t gonna complain about that.”
“I dunno…”
“It’s true. Stop overthinking it and just go.”
“W-well, will you go with me?” she suddenly asked. What the heck was she talking about?
“Then you wouldn’t be going by yourself.”
“Well, you’re really good at fading into the background, right? So it would basically be like I was alone!”
Maybe she really was trying to pick a fight, treating me like some zero-calorie food. She pressed her hands together in front of her face.
“Please! I’ll pay for you! All you have to do is just stay there, that’s it!”
Oh, she’s paying? Hmm, in that case… I’ll do it. “Just this once.”
“For real?! Thank you!” A happy grin spread across her face as she grabbed my hand and shook it.
Hey, that’s a little too close for comfort. Why did extroverts always invade people’s personal space?
“All right! Let’s go there right now!” She pumped her fist into the air excitedly. And that was how I got roped into going to a karaoke joint with a girl.
…I just wanna go home.
◊◊◊
