Would you dance with me my lord? - Chapter 19
1.5 Chapter 2: The Colorless World
The beginning of a memory.
“Son of a b*tch! I’ll tear you alive and kill you. I will kill you. Son of a b*tch. Son of a b*tch!”
That was the first word of his beginning of life. His mother cursed every single day. Who she cursed toward with sincerity and a fierce voice was only one person; it was her husband. Sometimes, his mother looked down at the young son with a stern gaze. The child was young but knew the meaning of that gaze. It was not maternal love, but it was vivid.
“Do you know why your mother became like this? It’s your father’s fault, my child, that my life is ruined, broken, and twisted. It’s his greed and sin. He must die. He committed a sin that he can only atone for if he dies.”
Once, the young son had asked his mother.
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“Mother, don’t you love my father? Doesn’t my father love you, either?”
His mother ridiculed. She firmly replied in a cold look and annoyed voice.
“Love? Did you just say, love? Lu Harve. He doesn’t love me. I don’t love him, either. I hate him. My life fell to hell because of him. Love is useless.”
“But, Mother, how could love be so easily—”
When the son said so with an anxious look, his mother’s face became expressionless.
“What is love? What do you know about it so much? If love is something with affection, and magnanimity, like others say, why do I live like this? I will suffer and die in this shabby, desolate palace because of your father.”
Tara cursed the king by saying, without reserve, the language of Han, which was famous for being the roughest and toughest language in Latrice. She poured out all kinds of verbal abuse on the king’s face. These were days full of creepy accents, ferocious voices, anger, and hatred.
His mother kept that infested hatred until she died.
“Listen, Lu Harve. If you want to win a fight, you must suppress your feelings. You must remember my miserable end. Emotions are something that should be killed.”
And that was his mother’s will.
Lu Harve knew his mother tried to raise him, to look after and take care of him as much as possible. She had done her best, but…
“Don’t call that son of a b*tch Father. Do you really think he is your father? Don’t you know what situation we are in? Do you really think he is your father, Lu Harve?”
She said Del Monte II was not his father. She told him not to call him Father. She was the mother who tried to tell her son that love was useless, referring to fights, winners, and losers until she died. The little boy grew up like that.
The child was very curious about such a mother, but he swallowed the question. “Then, why was I born?” He thought he would get an irreversible answer if he asked.
But to Lu Harve, Mother was not everything to him.
The mother was treated like a prostitute because she had been placed in the concubine, although she was from the barbaric and vulgar Han race. He was held in contempt as a son of the b*tch who dared to curse the king every day. In truly brutal disdain, one day, the little boy recognized himself as a true Nantes.
When he was six years old, one day, the voice of the dragon woke him up. It was so early that he blinked blankly. In the darkness, the only light was from the dawn. From the window, he could see Karbala was standing before him.
He seemed to know why, and he ordered it to remain silent, as the leader of Etutu.
The succession to the throne in Monterobis gave priority to the true Nantes. All of the king’s children were Nantes, but among them, there was one who had the strongest blood of Monvixo. And he was the true Nantes.
He had a mind to just declare that he was the owner of the next throne right away, but the child did not want to be a king simply by such a childish word. Because of the only restriction left by Monvixo, Nantes and Etutu could not aim their sword at the current ruler. So, he could not control Etutu right at the moment, even though he was the true Nantes. Also, to be a true king, he had to have his own group. To gather his group, it would be important to have a good cause, apart from the fact that he was the true Nantes. In order to repay all sorts of shame and complete revenge, the cause was also needed. In the process, it was necessary to plant fear or dread in the lower ones. So, he had to wait for the right time. The true Nantes of Monvixo was willing to endure everything for the future.
His mother was no longer everything in the world anymore to Lu Harve. So, he could look away from his mother and filter out her words.
There were only two things he took from her curse-like vituperation. First, suppress emotions if he wanted to be the winner. Second, affection would be finite and variable. Do not be swayed by emotions.
The only things left between the mother and son were those two. Taking over both of them, he refused to love anyone.
The pledge was probably a natural result. The child had thought the parent would naturally cherish their child and give love generously. But his father and mother did not, nor did they love each other. His mother cursed, hated, and despised the king until her death, never forgiving. She must have loved him when she married him, though.
“What is love?” The child could not answer the mother’s question. Only later could he define love. “It’s variable, finite, and incomprehensible. There is no such thing as eternal love. Is there ever anything eternal in the first place?”
So, he didn’t love anybody. “Even though something is missing from me, it is not a big matter.” He thought it was not bad.
Naturally, he did not have an interest in women. The women he met in the banquets smelled of thick powder and wore a fake smile. There was no room for interest.
Of course, thanking his mother, he eventually became aware of humanity. Even if he was a king, he should not take women easily. He learned every day, with his whole body, with all senses.
“Son of a b*tch, Son of a b*tch, I will kill you!” She was the mother who always cursed the king and spoke harsh words. Evil words rang his head, although he tried to close his eyes and cover his ears. The thing that rang the head eventually made waves in the heart. He vowed and vowed never to get too attached to anyone.
But there were some things that interested him–reading, swordsmanship, and the throne. All earnestness poured into them as if he poured it only into things he cared for, instead of other beings.
Especially the throne. Indeed, it was in these times that he had endured everything to be king. It was possible because his mother had raised him. She was not everything to him in the world, but Lu Harve was somebody who admits things that need to be admitted. It was so, as he abandoned his emotions and tried to be a winner.
The war was getting longer, and the northern part was burning to ashes. The whole country was filled with anxiety.
In the meantime, the first-born prince had a coming-of-age ceremony in the castle. It was a splendid banquet, like a Monterobis one. Bergen did not lose his dignity throughout the banquet. He acted leisurely and elegantly for the one who was having a coming-of-age ceremony.
When Lu Harve showed up,
“Lu Harve, you came!”
He said that even though it was natural that he visited as a sibling as if he really appreciated it. But Lu Harve knew that was deceit and hypocrisy. Originally, he was like that. He had known the hypocrisy and the hidden greed, but the first prince was better than the stupid second one. Tarenoa had never concealed his contempt for Lu Harve. He used to show signs of displeasure.
In retrospect, it was a very cruel royal family from the beginning. It was a country that barely passed the crowning ceremony peacefully. Only Nantes, who proved to be the strongest, could be the king. In such situations, strong people often did not care about weak people, and also deluded themselves into thinking they were the strongest ones. In any case, no one would care about those who showed a servile and obedient attitude.
So, Lu Harve did so. No one knew, except Etutu, that he was the true Nantes, and the king originally did not care for his children. He could be a thoroughly weak person. From the beginning, it was the royal family who would bite each other like a wolf if they saw each other’s mistakes.
“Apologies now, Lu Harve. What are you doing without knowing yourself?”
That day was the same. Tarenoa had thrown his calm tone, and his face turned purple with rage as if Lu Harve somehow crossed his path. Other siblings asked him to apologize, with cold gazes. Tara didn’t show her face at the banquet in the first place. So, no one in the banquet stopped them–not even the king.
Lu Harve knelt willingly, in terrible misery, with a face showing that he had no idea what to do, and his voice was trembling.
“I am sorry, Brother. Please make allowances.”
Everyone at the banquet laughed at him curiously. “Is he really royal? Is he really the son of the king?” Some people said so. It was such a royal family and such a royal country.
Lu Harve lived as a thorough, obedient prince. The son of petty Han b*tch, the one had the worst condition among the siblings, Lu Harve. Since he was Nattes, he had received education for the royal family, but no one in the royal family had expressed favor to him.
He also turned 16 years old and became an adult. His coming-of-age ceremony ended terribly.
Even though it was a ceremony for him, Lu Harve was not impressed. The formal banquet, empty celebrations, also fake gratitude. Pretense and hypocrisy, sneer and contempt–he was just bored. He danced with a woman at the ceremony, but he just moved his feet unconsciously.
No matter what happened or who mourned, he did not have any interest.
Even when the first princess spilled purple wine in front of him, and his colorful clothes were tinged with color.
“Oh, I am sorry, Lu Harve.”
“That’s okay, Sister.”
He replied calmly, accepting her apology. Even when Tarenoa made sarcastic remarks.
“Your mother hasn’t been here in a long time.”
And even when the third princess took that word and added more sarcasm.
“Brother, please tell her to come to the banquet more often.”
He mildly said he would. And when some count said pretentiously.
“Since you, the Fifth Majesty, became an adult, I am sure the king will be deeply touched.”
He just smiled. When even the other princes or princesses got more attention even though it was a party for him, he didn’t lose dignity and behaved like a prince who always obeyed the king. By midway through the banquet, he was almost expressionless. Some of them talked in the back that he was so determined.
“But what can I do? I’m not interested in you guys at all. Although you guys say I am awful, lowly, whatever, it does not impress me.”
It was the same when Tara appeared. Although she was not the last one who married the king, people were strict to ranks in concubines, so she was the lowest among them. When the fourth concubine entered the banquet hall, people did not show any favor to her. She was treated almost like she was psychotic.
However, somehow, she stood in front of the king, laughing with a very fine look.
“Your Majesty, I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
She even greeted him in a perfect manner. Even when people looked at her curiously, she kept her place in a beautiful way. She congratulated her son that he became an adult, and told him, in a soft voice, she was so happy about it. Tara even danced with the king.
“She finally got her mind,” somebody said. “That b*tch finally figured out herself.” Many would have thought so without saying a word.
In fact, Tara made eyes at the king and whispered to him, asking if he could forgive her rudeness and wrongdoings so far. The king did not have much affection left for Tara, but she was a very beautiful lady, and there was no reason not to accept her apology. He smiled and answered her that he would do so. The queen and three concubines stared at her, almost as if they would eat up her, but they knew that the king was greedy for women, so they later pretended to be okay.
And the time went on, and the ceremony ended normally with the king’s finishing speech. It was nothing more or less than Lu Harve had expected.
Indeed, it would not have been, if one thing had not happened as soon as the king finished his speech.
“Son of a b*tch! I hate you! I curse you!”
“Tara… You–”
“Die! Die! You will die terribly!”
She quickly jumped to the platform, put a knife on the throne, and spoke in the language of Han. As the most creepy and intimidating language in Latrice, the mood in the banquet hall quickly turned cold and frightening in a quick moment.
The king was not able to speak properly when a sharp knife was thrust into the throne where he sat, and the woman, who had been laughing and whispering just before, turned and showed a fierce and violent vigor. The knights who guarded the king seemed to be embarrassed, too. Everybody in that place was all dazed. At the moment, when Karbala was the first one to pull himself together and draw a sword, Tara shoved a knife into her neck.
