A Billion Stars Can’t Amount to You - Chapter 1000-1009
With the car stopped, Han Zhifan glanced into the villa’s courtyard through the car window.
It was late at night, so the people inside should be asleep by now. There were no other light sources on aside from the light by the gate.
Withdrawing his gaze, Han Zhifan wanted to step on the gas and leave, but the soles of his feet couldn’t summon the strength no matter how hard he tried like he was being controlled. He struggled for a moment before finally giving up. Then he pulled out a cigarette from beside him, rolled down the car window, and started smoking.
On his third cigarette, he turned his head and looked back at the villa through the circling cloud of smoke.
He looked like he was immersed in thought as he pursed his lips while staring at the villa. Without blinking, he watched it for a long time. All of a sudden, he put out the cigarette and pushed the car door open. He got out and walked over to the courtyard.
The whole world was silent. It was so silent that his footsteps sounded particularly crisp.
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When he walked up to the door and entered the passcode, Han Zhifan removed his shoes and tip-toed upstairs.
In the baby’s room, the wet nurse was fast asleep beside Cheng Han.
Han Zhifan stood by the door for a short while then softly shut the door. He stared in the direction of the master bedroom for a while. Then he slowly walked over.
He raised his hand to the door of the master bedroom but ended up pulling it back.
He turned around and walked over to the stairs.
The slight tread of his feet stopped again as though his pressure points had been pressed. He stood there motionlessly for a long time, but he eventually turned around again and reached out to slowly push the door open.
The bedroom was incredibly silent.
Using the light from the nightlight by the bedside table, he saw that the two-meter wide bed was empty. No one was in it.
It was the middle of the night. If Cheng Weiwan wasn’t asleep, where could she have gone? Moreover, did she not live here anymore?
Han Zhifan furrowed his brows slightly and instinctively walked out of the room. He wanted to find the housekeeper and clear things up. He turned around just as the familiar sound of a broken sob entered his ears.
His body tensed up as he instinctively paused. Then he heard another sad sob and forcefully balled up his fists.
He stood with his back against his bedroom for a while then slowly turned around and looked towards the source of the sound.
It was coming from the balcony.
The curtains were pulled, and she was obscured by the outer portion of the curtain, so it was no wonder why he hadn’t seen her.
Han Zhifan struggled for a while. He gulped and walked over to the balcony.
When he lifted the curtains, he glanced at her hunched near the window sill.
She must’ve been afraid of crying out loud, so she forcefully bit the back of her hand. There were big teardrops rolling down endlessly on her face.
She didn’t know if it was because of the cold midnight breeze or if she cried too painfully, but her neck shrunk back and her body shivered endlessly. She looked pitiful.
It felt like something was crushing Han Zhifan’s heart. The pain almost made him bend over.
Before he could think things through, his hand gently pushed open the glass doors to the balcony.
She didn’t notice him until he walked up to her. She raised her head and sluggishly realized who he was then she looked at him.
Her eyes were incredibly red and the tears brimming in her eyes were falling down her face.
Han Zhifan’s balled-up hands became even tenser.
Her reactions were a little slow. It took her a while to recognize him before the apparent shock and defensiveness rose from her eyes.
She knew he knew she was crying because when she sensed his presence, she instinctively lowered her head. Just as she shifted, Han Zhifan reached out and grabbed her arm. Then he pulled her up from the floor and swung her into his arms.
Cheng Weiwan’s body shuddered instinctively as she naturally wanted to pull away.
Han Zhifan didn’t give her a chance to fight back at all as his arms wrapped around her waist. With a little force, he locked her entire body tightly in an embrace.
He didn’t know just how long she had been crying on the balcony, but her clothes were all cold.
Han Zhifan couldn’t help but tightly hug her even more tightly in his arms.
Her body was as stiff as a rock.
Han Zhifan stood there hugging her for a while. Seeing that she was dazed like a wooden block, he reached out and gently patted her back to comfort her.
Although she was forced into his arms, she kept on fighting back. Gradually, Han Zhifan’s hug started to take effect and Cheng Weiwan’s face slowly stuck to his chest. Her body also slowly softened.
Even more tears flowed from her eyes. Soon enough, the clothes on his chest got wet.
But she cried with the same devastation.
Sometimes, the longer sad feelings were cooped up inside, the more difficult it would be to let them out. The sound of her freely crying out loud was really soothing.
Han Zhifan moved his throat, lowered his head slightly and quietly told Cheng Weiwan, “If you want to cry, just cry. You’ll feel a lot better if you cry out loud…”
Cheng Weiwan didn’t know what was going on with her. When she heard Han Zhifan’s words, she suddenly felt incredibly wronged. Her tears poured out even more fiercely, but she bit down tightly on her bottom lip, not daring to make a sound.
“It’s fine. Just cry it all out…” said Han Zhifan again.
Cheng Weiwan’s body trembled immensely as she tightly bit her bottom lip. The sound of her broken sob traveled upwards intermittently.
Han Zhifan didn’t say anything else, but without even noticing it himself, his gentle pats on her back turned even gentler.
His soft pats comforted Cheng Weiwan’s heart with every stroke. In the end, she couldn’t help but break. She leaned upon his chest with shuddering shoulders as she cried freely.
She cried for a long time in his embrace.
In the end, when her crying came to a stop, Han Zhifan held the same position, hugging her.
Time ticked by and after an unknown amount of time had passed, the soles of Han Zhifan’s feet had pins and needles. He then lowered his head and glanced down at her in his embrace.
Perhaps she had been crying for too long. Her psyche had been incredibly tense lately and she hadn’t really had a good night’s rest. After she let herself cry so freely, she exerted far too much strength. She was so exhausted that she actually leaned into his embrace and fell asleep.
Han Zhifan didn’t wake Cheng Weiwan up and carried her back into the bedroom.
When he placed Cheng Weiwan onto the bed and pulled the covers over her, he saw that her eyes were incredibly swollen. Several teardrops still hung on her eyelashes.
He hesitated for a moment then mysteriously raised his hand to gently wipe her tears away.
She was fast asleep and didn’t sense his actions.
Han Zhifan stared at Cheng Weiwan for a while as she was fast asleep. Then he lowered his head and stared at the moisture on his fingers.
Why did I hug her? Why did I have so much patience to stay with her? I even… helped her wipe her tears away.
I was clearly the one who baited her in the first place, yet my actions just now were things I would’ve done only when I was still tricking her into falling in love with me…
Han Zhifan thought about it for a long time and realized he must’ve seen her being far too pitiful when he just came back, so he couldn’t help but lose his cool. That was all… He wouldn’t have treated her like that normally. If it was anyone else who looked that pitiful, he would’ve done the same. That’s what it was. It must be…
Han Zhifan figured that night was just a mistake and something like this would never happen again.
But that thought lasted no more than twelve hours. At the hospital, three hours after Cheng Han was sent to the hospital, he saw a pale-faced and restless Cheng Weiwan who hadn’t eaten. He couldn’t help but walk up to her and grab her arm. “Come on. Let’s go get something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry…” declined Cheng Weiwan in a quiet voice.
“You have to eat even if you’re not hungry!” fiercely replied Han Zhifan. He then turned and glanced over at her before softly saying, “Dr. Luo told me the success rate of the operation is very high. What’s more, he personally asked his teacher to help, so there shouldn’t be any problems.”
Cheng Weiwan was still torn as she thought about how to decline his offer.
Han Zhifan didn’t wait for her to speak before speaking out, “Let’s go…”
With that said, Han Zhifan forcefully dragged Cheng Weiwan to the elevators.
There were some cuts that couldn’t be closed once they were opened; they just seemed to open up even wider.
Han Zhifan felt like he was in a trance. After Cheng Han’s successful operation, he not only initiated conversation with Cheng Weiwan time and time again when Cheng Han stayed in the hospital, he wasn’t even in a rush to kick her out of the villa when Cheng Han was discharged and returned home. Instead, he did many things even he felt were unbelievable.
For example, he finished work early one day and came back home to find Cheng Weiwan with Cheng Han in the toy room, assembling a new toy the housekeeper recently bought Cheng Han. Cheng Weiwan was a woman, after all, so she didn’t know much about things like planes and cars, and she couldn’t assemble them no matter how hard she tried. As a child, Cheng Han was impatient and kept on rushing Cheng Weiwan to the point where he looked like he was going to cry. Just then, Han Zhifan happened to walk past the door and saw this scene. He hesitated for a moment then walked in and told Cheng Weiwan, “Let me do it.” Ignoring Cheng Weiwan’s stunned expression, he sat down then started to take a look at it. These kinds of things were no problem for him, so after no more than half a minute later, he reached out and started to ask Cheng Weiwan for several parts of the car. Not long after, the toy was assembled. Cheng Han hugged it happily and started to play with it. When Han Zhifan was about to get up and leave, he caught a glimpse of Cheng Weiwan’s bloody fingertips. He figured she might’ve hurt herself while trying to assemble the toy, so he grabbed her hand and put a band-aid on her fingers. She didn’t fight back, but throughout it all, he could sense her gaze upon him. She watched in confusion, but she didn’t dare ask.
Another example was when he learned morning runs were very effective in treating depression. Every day, he woke up and called her and Cheng Han to work out. Cheng Han had only just had the operation, so he couldn’t really work out, so Han Zhifan carried Cheng Han on his shoulders. Cheng Weiwan wasn’t very good at sports, so she always slumped to the ground quickly. Cheng Han turned his head and endlessly called for her. She couldn’t catch up, but Han Zhifan couldn’t help but slow down his pace. One day, after their morning run, Han Zhifan noticed there were a lot of cars on their way back home and Cheng Weiwan wasn’t looking where she was going, so he even reached his hand out and held hers.
No matter if he was in the office during the day or at home during the night, he started to be in a better mood. However, nobody knew that when he reached the office, he would think back on the things that happened with her at home and somehow, he struggled back and forth between torn thoughts.
After much difficulty, he calmed his thoughts and immersed himself with work. However, not too long after, it was time to get off work.
After much difficulty, he calmed his thoughts and immersed himself in his work. However, not too long after, it was time to get off work.
He started to feel torn between the decision to return home or not. Although he eventually returned home in the end, there was no way to describe the internal ordeal he experienced.
When he entered the house, he thought he could act like before and pretend she didn’t exist. However, whenever he saw her, there were many things that happened beyond his control. After they spoke, he became suddenly relaxed after having such complicated feelings all day at the office.
It seemed like he was bewitched by her; when he clearly should’ve let her go and stayed far away from her world, he couldn’t stop his heart from wanting to get closer to her.
He didn’t know if it was because Cheng Han was getting better, or if it was because the morning exercise he asked her to do every morning was having an effect, but Cheng Weiwan was gradually smiling a lot more.
One day, when he returned home, the housekeeper even mentioned to him that Miss Cheng was a lot happier lately. For the past few days, the housekeeper hadn’t caught Cheng Weiwan sneaking off to cry on her own.
Everything had been good since Cheng Han was discharged. He returned to the hospital for regular check-ups.
Because Han Zhifan was busy with important business, he didn’t go to the hospital with Cheng Han. However, after he received the results from Cheng Han’s check-up, the housekeeper gave him a call.
After he hung up and put down the phone, his finger accidentally touched the calendar and caught sight of the lunar calendar dates.
He remembered this lunar date because… this was the date of her birthday.
In the beginning, he tricked her and got with her that very day – the day she let him take her virginity.
He clearly remembered the night he hurt her, but she silently endured it and shut her eyes through it all. She was so embarrassed that she didn’t dare glance at him and by the time it was over, she immediately buried her flushed face into the comforter.
That night, she even told him that her mother passed away when she was young and her father was really busy with work. It had been a long time since anyone celebrated her birthday. From what she remembered, he was the first person to give her a birthday cake.
If he remembered correctly, she was really happy that day. Even though she was full, she forced herself to finish the leftover cake.
She didn’t know that the birthday cake that made her so happy was in fact, a setup… He didn’t give her a second birthday cake because they broke up before then. This was two years ago. Had she not celebrated her birthday since then?
Han Zhifan stared at the phone screen for a long time before he put the phone down and continued to immerse himself in work.
He couldn’t really concentrate at work, so it took him an hour longer than he imagined to finish the day’s work.
He didn’t let the driver take him back home. Instead, he drove around Beijing on his own. When he turned into the entrance of a shopping mall, he went in and chose a beautiful bracelet.
By the time he got home, it was already nine in the evening.
When he stepped inside, Cheng Weiwan was carrying Cheng Han, who had just taken a shower, and was just about to head upstairs.
As Cheng Han called out “daddy,” Cheng Weiwan turned her head and smiled at him.
She didn’t say anything but quickly walked into the bedroom, probably in fear of Cheng Han catching a cold.
Since when did she start smiling at me whenever she saw me?
Since when did she start smiling at me whenever she saw me?
Han Zhifan thought about it for a while but gave up when he couldn’t remember when this started.
Han Zhifan went back to the main bedroom and took off his blazer as he searched for a light-colored lounge outfit.
Before he left the changing room, he picked up the suit he changed out of, intending to take out the phone and wallet from his pocket. Incidentally, he touched a square box.
Han Zhifan paused for a moment then pulled out the box.
It was the bracelet he bought in the shopping mall on his way back home.
He never thought about giving her a birthday present, but after he realized that today was her birthday, he bought one anyway. He’d have to gift it to her at some point, right?
Han Zhifan thought about it deeply for a moment then put the box back into his pocket. Then he quickly pulled out his phone and wallet and chucked the suit in the laundry basket. He strode out the bedroom door.
The door to the baby’s room was opened, and he could hear the faint sound of Cheng Weiwan telling Cheng Han a bedtime story.
The tone of her voice was warm and gentle and made him sound at ease.
Han Zhifan stood in the hallway and listened for a while. Completely unbeknownst to him, he felt a sense of enjoyment creeping in his heart.
Cheng Weiwan read two fairytales to Cheng Han, but Cheng Wasn’t sleepy and he asked for a third.
After speaking for so long, it was difficult to avoid feeling a little uncomfortable. Han Zhifan could hear Cheng Weiwan’s voice turning hoarse, and he couldn’t help but walk over to the baby’s room.
He wanted to tell her to go downstairs to drink a glass of water and ask to take over telling his son a bedtime story.
However, he heard the housekeeper saying, “Mr. Han…” after taking no more than two steps towards the baby’s room.
Han Zhifan stopped.
The housekeeper sped up as she walked upstairs. Soon after, she reached him and cried out again, “Mr. Han…”
Han Zhifan didn’t say anything. Having worked for him for so many years, he could tell from the housekeeper’s expression that she had something to tell him.
The housekeeper heard the commotion coming from the baby’s room and took a glance inside. Perhaps she was afraid other people would hear her, so she suppressed the volume of her voice. “Mr. Han, next Tuesday will be the anniversary of Miss’ death. Take a look at Miss’ things and I’ll prepare them for you, or would you rather personally make the preparations?”
The anniversary of the Miss’ death… Lili…
Han Zhifan’s face suddenly froze over a little.
Time really did fly! At the blink of an eye, Lili had been gone for another year now… Her corpse and bones were long gone, but the person who killed her lived happily in this world…
Just as Han Zhifan had that thought, the sound of Cheng Weiwan’s warm laughter came from the baby’s room.
Han Zhifan’s hands instinctively balled into fists.
Not only did he not get revenge on the person who killed Lili, but his daughter also lived peacefully in his home… His home… And she was laughing…
It seemed like Han Zhifan was hit on the head with a bat as he felt extremely dizzy. Then he completely woke up from the shock.
Lately, he had been seduced or under some kind of spell, because time and time again, he treated his enemy’s daughter so well. And he actually forgot about Lili, who was killed so tragically!
In an instant, Han Zhifan was annoyed and blamed himself.
The housekeeper sensed something strange about Han Zhifan’s expression and cautiously cried, “Mr. Han?”
Han Zhifan glanced at the housekeeper when he heard her voice. His gaze was unbelievably cold.
The housekeeper took a step back in fright, not daring to utter a peep.
Han Zhifan didn’t make things difficult for the housekeeper and blurted out, “I’ll make the preparations myself.” He raised his chin as a signal for the housekeeper to leave first.
The housekeeper didn’t stay a moment longer. Upon seeing Han Zhifan’s signal, she fled down the stairs.
Every now and then, the sound of Cheng Han’s laughter escaped the baby’s room, coupled with Cheng Weiwan’s affectionate laughter.
While Han Zhifan had admired these sounds earlier, he now felt like he was being stabbed in the heart by a sharp dagger. The pain smothered his chest.
He didn’t listen any longer; he quickly turned around and walked into the study.
With one hand, he held the bracelet he bought from the mall and with the other hand, he clasped a cigarette. He stared out at the night sky out the window as he stood there with a gloomy expression for a long time. It wasn’t until all the lights surrounding the villa turned off that Han Zhifan put the bracelet back into his pocket. Leaving behind a floor covered with various cigarette butts, he walked out of the study.
He pushed open the door to the bedroom. Cheng Weiwan still hadn’t slept. She was sitting against the headboard, looking at her phone.
She heard the sound of the door being pushed open then she raised her head. With just one glance at the door, she saw Han Zhifan. Unlike before, her expression didn’t reveal resistance and confusion. Yet she didn’t appear too intimate, but she smiled with a really distant and polite expression.
There was a bowl of glutinous rice balls in sweet fermented rice wine soup on the bedside table beside her. It must be the supper the housekeeper prepared for her.
Perhaps it was because the room was too quiet, or perhaps it was because she saw Han Zhifan glancing at theglutinous rice balls, but when he walked over to the bed, she pointed at it. “Would you like to eat some? Shall I go down to get you a bowl?” she softly asked him.
Didn’t she start to show signs of taking the initiative to speak to me only in the past two days…?
Rationality told him not to bother with Cheng Weiwan, but when it came to his actions, Han Zhifan silently shook his head at her.
When Han Zhifan withdrew his gaze, he cast a glance at Cheng Weiwan’s illuminated phone. The phone number for “Dad” appeared.
Dad… Cheng Weiguo? Is she calling her dad?
Han Zhifan furrowed his brows slightly and saw a series of phone calls in the call log. They were all from that day from noon until now. Some were one hour apart and others were two hours apart.
Han Zhifan’s fingers instinctively trembled as his lips tightened.
Cheng Weiwan saw Han Zhifan’s head shaking, but she didn’t say anything else. She lowered her head to stare at her phone screen for a while and gave Cheng Weiguo a call.
Han Zhifan watched this and took a hard gulp. Then he turned around and walked into the changing room.
When he stepped out after changing his clothes, Cheng Weiwan put the phone to her ear. He didn’t know if the call was picked up and she heard Cheng Weiguo’s voice, or if the call hadn’t gone through at all.
Han Zhifan didn’t stay a second longer in the bedroom. He grabbed the keys he casually tossed on the dresser earlier then he strode out of the villa.
It wasn’t until Han Zhifan slammed on the gas pedal and drove a distance away from the villa that Cheng Weiwan lowered the phone from her ear.
Nobody picked up yet again…
From noon until now, she called at least ten times, but her father didn’t pick up. He didn’t even call her back.
In actuality, it had been a really long time since she called her father. She only called today because it was her birthday… She didn’t hope for her father to remember her birthday, but on that day, she wanted to hear a relative’s voice…
She didn’t hope for her father to remember her birthday, but on that day, she wanted to hear a relative’s voice…
But even such a small request couldn’t be fulfilled.
Cheng Weiwan pursed her lips slightly, lowered her head and glanced at the time on her phone screen.
It was already 23:59. There was just one minute left until her birthday would be over…
It was funny now that she thought about it. She not only didn’t know what her father was busy with all day, but she didn’t know what corner of the world her father was in right now.
From what she remembered, he had probably never called her before, right? She had always taken the initiative to call her father, and her father either never picked up or sounded half-hearted and annoyed by replying with a few rushed sentences before hanging up.
Everyone said her father’s love was like a mountain… but she never experienced it before.
Her father was a well-known doctor, but he had no idea that other doctors, unbeknownst to him, treated his biological daughter’s illness.
Back then, she got depression because Han Zhifan abandoned her. She cried in the middle of the night and called him. However, after her father picked up the call, the first thing he said was: “Do you not want to let other people sleep? How are you so dumb?’ At the time, she felt hard done by and she wanted to tell him, but she couldn’t do it after his harsh words. She didn’t even dare reveal the fact that she had been crying; she forcibly tried to hang up the phone in a hurry. Because she couldn’t stand it anymore, the sound of her cries managed to escape. She was certain he heard it clearly, but he didn’t call her back or visit her.
Sometimes, she often thought that if she hadn’t had a father from the beginning, maybe she wouldn’t have had hope and expectations of him, but she did. She watched as other girls she grew up with looked forward to hiking with their fathers, or had fathers to pick them up from school in cars when it rained or had fathers who cared for them when they were sick. She always fantasized about her father treating her like that… However, as the years passed, her expectations of her father were never fulfilled.
She figured that since she’d been upset for so many years, she wouldn’t be upset by anything anymore. However, when she really thought about her father, Cheng Weiwan realized she was still a little hurt deep down.
Her mood had been great lately. She was afraid she would be too affected by it, so she hurriedly brought herself back to reality.
The time on her phone had skipped from 23:59 to 00:01. A new day had arrived, and her birthday had passed completely. Another year without a single birthday blessing.
But it was fine. She’d never celebrated a birthday ever since she was young except the one time Han Zhifan celebrated with her when he was deceiving her. She was moved at the time, but she now thought of it as a joke.
With that thought, Cheng Weiwan smirked and made fun of herself. Then she put the phone down, got up, and walked into the bathroom.
After she came out of the shower and laid on the bed, Cheng Weiwan realized she had no idea where Han Zhifan went.
Didn’t he come back home? Why did he leave again?
She didn’t know if it was because she thought of Han Zhifan, but memories of every little thing that happened between them lately crossed her mind like a movie on rewind.
She wasn’t stupid. She could tell that he had changed.
His temper suddenly improved significantly, and he hadn’t blown up at her again.
He hugged her one night. He even took her and Hanhan out for morning runs every day.
Even without Hanhan by her side, he still exchanged a few words with her when they were alone from time to time.
She didn’t understand why he suddenly changed, but she didn’t dare ask and she never thought about asking.
She had to admit that she quite liked the change, but she only dared to secretly feel happy about it on the inside. Aside from feeling happy, she didn’t dare have any wild thoughts. Of course, she wouldn’t allow herself to.
Because of her environment at home, she’d been alone ever since she was young. This made her a little guarded against others, but once she accepted someone, she treated them genuinely and sincerely.
Especially when it came to Han Zhifan. Back then, she really thought they were going to be together forever.
So after she found out their relationship was a lie, her world really came crumbling down.
At the time, her heart was utterly crushed. From then on, she knew full well that she did, in fact, have the power to love, but she didn’t dare love anymore.
She didn’t dare allow herself to think too much of Han Zhifan’s recent acts of friendliness and care. She treated it all as if he was just doing things on a whim.
So she didn’t need to overthink their interactions, because… He wouldn’t love her, and as long as she didn’t have hope, she wouldn’t be disappointed, let alone devastated…
With that thought, Cheng Weiwan shook her head and pushed all the thoughts about Han Zhifan to the back of her head. Then she shut her eyes and forced herself to sleep.
–
After Han Zhifan left that night, he didn’t come home for several consecutive nights.
He had several properties in Beijing. In the past, he stayed at the other places and never returned to the villa. But this time, he stayed at the office day and night.
It was like he had gone crazy. He worked day and night, making the higher execs at the company shudder. Every night, they would do overtime till midnight with him at the office before heading home.
His high performance made two workers sick in five short days. However, it was like he didn’t notice a thing as he continued to work hard.
Han Zhifan’s coworkers and people he was close to could tell he was acting particularly strange. He workedday and night like he was avoiding something, but no one dared to ask.
To the office workers, those “dark days” lasted a week until the Tuesday of the next week, which was when everyone finally caught a break.
Before six that morning, Han Zhifan was inside the office. He took a shower and changed into a clean suit then finished shaving his face in the mirror. After properly freshening up, he drove from the company to the cemetery in the suburbs.
Since it was early in the morning, fog enveloped the cemetery. His leather shoes were dirtied with soil as he followed the hillside up to Lili’s grave.
In front of Lili’s grave were a few bunches of weeds. Han Zhifan rolled up his sleeves and pulled them out himself. Then he wiped down Lili’s gravestone before finally hovering his finger over Lili’s photo in the center of the gravestone.
Eighteen-year-old Lili was wearing a white dress and stood in front of a bush of Japanese roses. Her head was tilted and she smiled a bright, youthful smile.
Han Zhifan stared at the photo for a long time as he gulped twice. Then he got up and placed the things he bought in front of Lili’s gravestone.
After he finished visiting Lili, Han Zhifan wasn’t in a hurry to leave. Instead, he found a spot in front of the grave and sat down, leaning against the gravestone.
The sun rose higher and higher as the weather got hotter and hotter. Han Zhifan, whose forehead was full of sweat, showed no signs of leaving.
Time gradually passed by. After sunset approached and the light gradually dimmed again, Han Zhifan turned his head to glance at the gravestone beside him.
Since he arrived in the morning till now, he hadn’t said a word. All of a sudden, he moved his lips. “Lili, I have to leave again. Next time, when I have time, I’ll come see you again…”
Like before, after Han Zhifan bid farewell on his visit to see Han Zhili, he would get up and leave. However, this time, he sat on the ground without moving an inch.
He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket. After taking two puffs, he then said, “Lili, are you blaming me? Blaming me for treating her so well lately…”
“Lili, don’t be mad. I’ll never do that again… At the time, I was soft-hearted and pitied her…”
“…Lili, don’t worry. I promised to help you get revenge, so I definitely will. I’ll make the person who killed you taste just how insufferable it feels for tragedy to befall a relative!”
“Lili, did you know that you have a nephew?”
“He’s called Hanhan. He’s very cute, but she gave birth to Hanhan. I was afraid you wouldn’t be happy to see him, so I didn’t bring him…”
After Han Zhifan said that, he lowered his head and stared at the cigarette between his fingers for a long time. Just as the cigarette was about to burn to the end, he put it out on the ground. Then he got up and said “goodbye” to the gravestone. He stared at Han Zhili’s photo on the gravestone for a short while then turned around and headed down the mountain.
As he emerged from the cemetery, Han ZHifan didn’t return to the office nor did he return home.
He drove around Beijing several times until his stomach started hurting from not having eaten anything all day. That was when he parked the car by the side of the road and randomly found a fast food restaurant to fill his stomach.
Back in the car, Han Zhifan didn’t drive around randomly anymore. Instead, he pulled the car seat flat down and laid there for a while. He tore open a pack of cigarettes and started smoking one cigarette after another.
Thereafter, he knew full well what path to take, but he didn’t know what he was so hesitant about.
Two years ago, didn’t I cut things off cleanly? Now, two years later, how hard could it be to cut things off once again?
This time, he was afraid he wasn’t just cutting off their relationship, and this time, he had these uncontrollable feelings deep down…
If the housekeeper hadn’t abruptly brought up the upcoming anniversary of Lili’s death that night, he was afraid he would’ve still been too immersed in her world without even knowing it.
Under these circumstances, he shouldn’t have felt like that. To him, this was too dangerous and felt too foreign.
If he was around her frequently, he really was afraid he would forget his own original intentions.
There were some things that had started to develop out of his control. He wouldn’t carry out future matters he couldn’t predict and take paths he wasn’t certain of.
Even though he was torn about things and even if he wanted to run away from things, a week had passed. He couldn’t let it drag on like this…
Han Zhifan stared with lingering eyes and deeply thought about things for a moment. Then he picked up the phone and made a call.
The call went through. He waited for the person on the phone to call out his name before he flatly asked, “Lin Na, didn’t you always want to marry me?”
Unlike Cheng Weiwan, who got shy easily, Lin Na was always outgoing and bubbly. Lin Na finished listening to what he had to say and bluntly replied, “Yes, I really want to marry you, Zhifan. But you aren’t willing to marry me.”
Han Zhifan couldn’t help but tighten his grip on his phone.
He didn’t reply for a long time. “Zhifan?” cried Lin Na.
Han Zhifan heard Lin Na’s voice but still didn’t respond.
After a while, he gulped hard and shut his eyes. Then with a clear voice, he said, “I’ll marry you.”
“What?” Over the phone, Lin Na must’ve clearly heard what he said, but she didn’t dare to believe it.
After hesitantly asking him this, she didn’t wait for him to say anything more and added, “Zhifan, what did you say?”
“I said…” Han Zhifan paused for a moment then moved his lips. “…I’ll marry you.”
This time, Han Zhifan didn’t wait for Lin Na to speak up again and continued, “Let’s get married, Lin Na. The sooner the better.”
–
It was a Friday night when Han Zhifan was seen again.
Cheng Weiwan was in the baby’s roo, playing with Cheng Han when she heard the familiar sound of the car coming from downstairs.
She could tell it was the sound of Han Zhifan’s car. She was sitting in front of the window, so without a second thought, she turned and glanced out the window.
Just then, Han Zhifan’s car happened to come to a stop and he got out of the car.
The housekeeper saw Han Zhifan in the courtyard and immediately welcomed him in. “Mr. Han, you’re back?”
Han Zhifan gently nodded, but he didn’t give the housekeeper a reply and walked into the house.
“Mr. Han, are you having dinner tonight?” asked the housekeeper.
Just as the housekeeper’s voice fell, another door of the car was pushed open. A beautiful young woman stepped out. “Zhifan?”
Han Zhifan’s footsteps stopped then he first replied to the housekeeper. “No. I came back to pick up some files, and I’ll be leaving immediately.” Then he looked over at the beautiful woman.
He didn’t say anything, but he probably gave the woman a look in response. The woman walked over to him in her high heels.
The woman was smart and polite as she walked up to the housekeeper and smiled. Then she turned to Han Zhifan and cried out, “I want to use the restroom.”
Han Zhifan glanced at the housekeeper beside him. The housekeeper immediately understood what Han Zhifan meant – she made a hand gesture to welcome the beautiful young woman then escorted her inside.
Han Zhifan stood on the spot for a moment then also entered the house.
Soon after, Cheng Weiwan heard the sound of Han Zhifan’s footsteps on the other side of the door of the baby’s room.
The door to the baby’s room wasn’t shut. Han Zhifan had to pass by the door to the room en route to the study.
Cheng Han’s sharp eyes caught sight of Han Zhifan while he was playing with his toys. He then immediately cried out “Daddy” in a cute voice.
Han Zhifan’s footsteps came to a stop and he replied “Son” to Cheng Han, who was lying spread out on the rug. Then he raised his eyes and happened to meet Cheng Weiwan’s gaze.
It was just for a second, and Cheng Weiwan avoided Han Zhifan’s line of sight. After she raised her eyes, the silhouette of Han Zhifan disappeared from outside the door.
He didn’t stay in the study for long. He grabbed the file and stepped back out.
He didn’t stop when he passed by the door again.
The young woman must’ve emerged from the toilet as she bumped right into Han Zhifan on his way downstairs. In the baby’s room, Cheng Weiwan vaguely heard the woman affectionately crying out “Zhifan.”
Han Zhifan didn’t say anything, but the woman continued talking.
